Apr. 23rd, 2014

jennygordon: (Water Lily)
So, yes. Um. I'm back. Feeling ... oddly shy and trepidatious, actually. It's weird. Having failed utterly to keep up with all you lovely people over the last few of months, I've spent the last hour dropping in on some of you find out where life's tide has carried you.

As for me. Well, life's tide has washed me up on a new shore, in a fresh chapter of my life. Having just gone through two of life's Most Stressful Happenings™ in one big lump, I'm floundering a little as I splash around in the wet, shifting sand in an attempt to find my footing.

The creative part of my brain has largely been hibernating. It's had to. I've needed the organising, analytical part to be firing on all cylinders, so there hasn't been room for anything else. Then, last week, after living in my new home for only a matter of days, I woke one morning from an astonishingly lucid dream which presented me with the premise for a story. It was as though Creative Jenny had woken up in a rush.

I'm still busy with all the necessities of relocating to a new town 50 miles from the old, so I haven't had time to do much with the idea ...

... Now see, there I go again ... because the truth is I'm scared to sit down and write. It's been so long. What if I can't do it? I can't even figure out how to start, for goodness' sake. What if I'm utter rubbish? What if ...? What if ...? There are all these little insecurities niggling away at me.

Then, last night it came to me that if so much about my life has changed in a relatively short space of time, then there's one thing that hasn't. The core of who I am remains the same, and intrinsic to that core is my creative soul. Returning to writing after this necessary break is nerve-wracking. I have no idea what will happen, or even how to begin. But begin I shall. Rejoining the ever-shrinking world of LJ feels like a good place to start. I have no idea where the writing will take me. No idea, indeed, of what this new chapter of my life will hold. I will be open to it all, and see what comes.

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jennygordon

January 2016

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